Solopreneur Life — Blog — Khayra Bundakji

Thanks, Procrastination!

When I notice I’m not doing a task, I say “oh, I guess I don’t want to do it”. The difference between my next step and what my new clients do are very different.

I’ve been recording my moments of procrastination for the past nine years. That is every time I procrastinated for more than 15 minutes. This is insane, and I wouldn’t recommend starting this way. It came of necessity when I was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when I was 10 years old (1997). This self-research paid off when I got my MBA and became self-employed.

Here is everything I learned about procrastination:

tl;dr: Procrastination is your wise body taking energy and time you didn’t provide to it.

My very first month-long vacation

My biggest strength is being a fixer, a coach, and to do it with a determination to see it through to the end.

Attendees and students of 100% — A Life Approach will recognize the shadow of this habit: Being a rescuer in a drama triangle. It leads me to be insensitive, because I’m passionate about fixing instead of empathizing with compassion.

And now my biggest challenge to really embody the celebration I urge my clients to experience is to take time to focus on myself. Self-care for me is to get in touch with my needs, which ignoring always leaves me resentful as a persecutor (Drama Triangle reference). Self-care for me is to get in touch with reality, which ignoring by overworking leaves me confused as a victim (Drama Triangle reference).

Empathy Marketing

Is the fear of being judged, annoying, or being vulnerable from being visible to people whose attention you need? Your boss, your prospects, your potential customers, or even your friends and family?

Stop promoting yourself from a place of obligation and use that super power of overthinking in the way it’s meant to be used: Empathizing.

Why you don't like help when it would make your life so much easier and 4 steps to change it

Here are three ways to see if your ego is hijacking your chance of true innovation through collaborative relationships.

“I will hurt for you”

You may decline help because you’re the strong one – it’s your identity. Asking someone else to struggle the way you do seems selfish at best. You may decline help because the feeling of someone thanking you is too good to give to someone else. It’s a popular myth that you can only get true recognition by struggling through weakness instead of serving from strengths.

“I can’t”

You may decline help because the effort of being the solution-person is too big a responsibility. The goal is too big and unwieldy for you to even start thinking about, so how in the world could you put into words what you’d need from others? This can also be tied to perfectionism where no one else can get to the standard that you know it should be. Obviously, you can’t trust anyone else with this.

“I told you so”

Once you give it a go and try to ask for help, you are disappointed and nothing got done. This always happens when someone else tries to get involved, it just isn’t right. Resentment, blame, and isolation bubbles up in you, keeping you in your comfort zone of lonely struggle.

Appearance: HSE Feature with Personal Branding Coach, Khayra Bundakji - Business Miracles

Things I didn’t mention by numbers in the podcast (I wasn’t ready).

I started giving personal branding consultations in Sep 2018. It left me empty because I was charging 200sr/hr AND there was no way for me implement sustainable habits in my clients.

Now I’ve gone into my own business full time (since January 2020), not for the entrepreneur trend, but because I recognize my highly sensitive nature needs at the beginning & end of the day. I need time to reflect and enter the day, and time to wind down my nerves and reflect at night. I’m at 100% capacity in my practice, my lowest sales month was 2,300sr (after prepping to live in savings for 8 months!) and my highest was 22,500sr.

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tl;dr: Procrastination is your wise body taking energy and time you didn’t provide to it.